I live to love

I am exhausted, and have not been able to do anything at all today.  I was out all night last night, literally.  I didn't get home until 7:30am!  I went to a ton of different places last night and partied until I couldn't party any more.  But damn...what a good night.  I love being young.

this weekend so far has been exhausting and hectic.  I didn't get to relax today until 8pm.  I helped my aunt wax her car, with a lovely bonus of $30 for helping.  Then decided to take care of my own car, which is now sparkling.  I'm extremely tired from that alone.  Now I'm finally getting to some sewing.  With finally picking up my sewing machine from my mom's house, I have been finallllllyyyyy able to let my creative flow go.  So I'm now relaxed.  Sitting on my couch, with my laptop in hand, in my comfy pj's.  My bra is itching the heck out of me.  But hot damn...I have my two favorite things....my internet and my sewing machine.  Tomorrow is a hectic day of work...woo hoo...a weekend of craziness.

One of my close friends, well let's just say, my head has this piercing noise in it at the moment.  She annoys the crap out of me sometimes.  And yes, I know you're not suppose to say horrible things about you're friends...but come on, this is reality!  Another thing is that I am sooooo annoyed with this one girl, a girl I don't even know....but she is some crazy obsession.  I constantly want to know what going on in her life, and how she looks, and what she's doing, and who she's seeing.  Well it's not that crazy of an obsession if I told you who she really was and what part of my life she is involved in...I want to stop having this obsession, but I simply cannot help it....so hellllpppp me.  Now I know I'm complaining a lot, but the one thing that is going pretty good is the man in my life.  I'm all smiles, just because of his words and feelings...I am in love, love, love!

So today some family came into town, although i look so forward to seeing everyone I easily get annoyed and frusterated.  I am the outcast of the family, and to the real world I would be considered extremely normal.  I come from a family of vegans, no one has anything pierced, no tattoos, and are extreme clean freaks.  I have three piercings, all in my ear, no tats, i eat some meat, and moved out of my house at 18.  When the family get's together everyone says how I'm ruining my life, I constantly get lectured on how I am too young to live on my own, and I cannot stand the way they bug me about every little thing going on in my life.  I want to scream and cry all at the same time when I leave the house.  I have an amazing man in my life, who isn't always perfect, but he is the only thing that get's me through those horrible family moments, and just makes me feel comforted.  On another note, this man in my life has moved out of the parents and is living in his own place.  Now you see his roomate is his best female friend.  He tells me over and over and over it is not like that at allllll.  I do believe him, but at the same time what girl wouldn't freak out a little.  Ugh, please just let me breath fresh air after a day like this. 

Well the answer to my title is a definate yes!  I worry and worry and worry and thinking into every little thing when it comes to Tom, the man in my life.  I have been with him for two years now, almost, and you think that I would have gotten over this whole "thinking too much into things," thing.  Last night I sat up and tossed and turned all night in bed. All because he didn't call me last night, all because he was busy moving into his new apartment and I took it into him not liking me.  There is something wrong with me, can I please just stop feeling like this!

So why did I join this blog.com?  I suppose online blogging allows me to share my deepest thoughts, and joining a website where the people I personally know won't see but writing to them as though they are reading.  Maybe that sounds a bit lame, but it helps me, it allows me to let out my stress, my worries, and emotionally allows me to feel better.  When you start to read some of these entries you may feel that my life is a little bit screwed up, or that I have too much drama in my life.  But I am who I am, and all together I love it!  I have a family that is completely torn apart, a boyfriend that lives all the way on the other side of the country, best friends who have more issues then me, and a job that controls my life in a way.  I'm a college drop out at the moment, with a family who thinks I am currently enrolled in school, school stresses me out to the max, and I am wanting to go back more then anything, but I simply cannot afford it.  I live on my own, with absolutely no help at all.  But at the end of the day, I am grateful, because when it comes down to it, I live an amazing life, I have things that people would dream of having, and I have to learn to be grateful.  Now if I write too many entries and you think I have a writing issue, just understand, this is the one way to relieve my stress.  Writing in a way is my best friend, it doesn't judge me in any way, it just listens...!